Fletcher Augustus DeRouen

A diary for our son, by Joe and Andrea DeRouen

Saturday, June 21, 2003

My Grandmother passed away at 12:55 PM on Saturday June 21st, 2003. I was sitting on the couch earlier today, crying, when Fletcher came up to me and put his pacifier in my mouth. I guess he figured that when he cries a pacifier sometimes helps, so that it might help me as well. Funny thing is, it did.

Fletcher and his
Great-Grandmother Tillie Young

.: posted by Joe 4:38 PM

My mother just called to tell me that my Grandmother had a massive heart attack this morning and isn't expected to make it through the night. Life is precious. I don't often think about it but, after talking to my mother this morning and crying with my wife moments after, I can't help but be reminded of the joy that I feel every time I watch Fletcher play, smile at me, or try to perform crazy one-legged stunts by standing on the seat of his tricycle. Joy and sadness are certainly opposite sides of the same coin, and I'm not sure you can ever appreciate the former without occasionally experiencing the latter.

I'm incredibly saddened at this turn of events and desperately fear losing my Grandmother, whom I love very much and respect immensely. She is 83 and I have known her for nearly 35 years, but I can't help but feel that I still haven't had all the time necessary to truly know and appreciate her. And yet life goes on, regardless of what chances you think you might have missed or, at the least, failed to truly take advantage of.

Life is a cycle, and Fletcher has just begun his, while my Grandmother may be nearing the end of hers. The joy I experience every day with Fletcher helps to temper the sadness I felt upon hearing my mother's shaky voice, tearfully telling me that my Grandmother will probably die by the end of today.

I don't pray often, but right now I'll say a prayer for my Grandmother, to help her get better or, barring that, to find peace and solace in passing, as well as a prayer of thanks to God, fate, or chance, for bringing Fletcher into my life. The love I feel for my son will give me strength to deal with whatever lies in store for my Grandmother, just as the sadness I feel at the prospect of losing her makes me appreciate my wife and my son all the more. As always, the wheel of life turns...

.: posted by Joe 8:56 AM

Friday, June 13, 2003

Last night we watched a video of Fletcher from about five-months-old to just last week. He was fascinated. He would point at "that baby" and look confused. I think he was especially put off by seeing his toys on-screen and made many grumbling noises about that. When he would hear Joe or I give an instruction to the "baby Fletcher" he would often comply as he watched. Fletcher waved at his baby self and laughed when the baby laughed.

It was great to look back at the laughing, small Fletcher and even more fun to watch the perplexed growing Fletcher watch himself.

.: posted by Andee 7:39 AM

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

I think Fletcher has reached the "terrible two's" stage five months early. He climbs on everything, pulls DVDs down from the racks, pulls the cat's tail, and is in general full of mischief. Of course, he's also incredibly sweet and precious, which makes everything else tolerable - but just barely! :)

.: posted by Joe 6:24 PM

Monday, June 02, 2003

Fletcher's comprehension of what we say is increasing by leaps and bounds. He still doesn't say much to us, but when you ask him what a tiger says, he growls. He will point to most facial and body parts when asked and will hold up one finger to indicate his age. He loves to reach to the sky to show us how big he is. I think he's trying to talk, but it's mostly gibberish to us even if it's meaningful to him.

He is suddenly getting lots more teeth.